The Musings of a Journeyman

We arranged for transport the next day to take us to the resort.  Looking over a few brochures we took from the airport and after a few phone calls, we decided to stay in Panglao Island Nature Resort and Spa.  We didn’t go out of the resort that day; there was enough to do to keep us busy.  Besides with all the activities we did the previous day, this was a much needed respite. 

The following day, after figuring out what the island can offer, we continued with our adventures.  Our first stop was Hinagdanan Cave, a small cave with a spectacular morning view.  With the morning rays of the sun peering in from the cave’s ceiling, it creates a perfect picture if you could keep your hands steady with a camera after setting it on twilight portrait mode.  Here the guide offered a tour we could not refuse.  He offered to take us around Panglao Island riding a habal-habal.  Since: 1. We have never ridden on a (technically speaking) a habal-habal before and 2. I have never toured Panglao before, how could we refuse. 

First stop was San Agustin Church, the Watch Tower and the pier.  From the pier one can see Balicasag island from afar, Balicasag Island is known for its snorkelling and diving spots.  We have yet to go there.

After that we went beach hopping.  In this leg, we figured out that staying in Panglao Island Nature Resort and Spa was a good decision, with the monsoon winds blowing hard on this side of the island it was practically impossible to stay out on the beach for very long.  Unless you have steel legs or at least wearing jeans, you’re legs would feel like being sandblasted because of the strong winds.  However, this side of the island has a wider beach front.  If I am not mistaken this whole stretch of sand and surf is called Alona Beach.

Next destination was the Bee Farm.  We decided to have lunch before taking the guided tour.  It was a spaghetti lunch (with honey) for my wife and chicken with salad for me.  The salad was spiced up with flowers, cosmos being one of them.  Bread was served with three spreads, which were better than the entrees, if you ask me.  Most of what we ordered was too sweet for me.  After lunch we were ushered to the spice and flower patch, they grow their own basil, dill, fennel, oregano, cosmos and other spices and flowers I can no longer remember.  We went to see how they make honey next, that is the bees.   The bees are domesticated and don’t sting, we were even allowed to handle them and have pictures taken.  I learned here that the bee was twice as big as the other bees; unfortunately, the slot that we pulled out didn’t have the queen bee in it.  Beside the bee farm is their greenhouse where they grow their lettuce.  They even grow Mickey Mouse plants, I didn’t know there was such a thing!  Had I not held the actual fruit of the plant, I’d say it was made of plastic.  Moving forward we moved to a different section where they make handicrafts from natural fibers like sinamay and abaca.

Dauis Church was our last stop.  The church much like most of the old churches in Panglao are undergoing renovations and restorations.  Inside this church is a fresh water well where the guerrillas back in WWII used to fetch their water from. The walls and ceiling from the altar to the nave are filled with frescoes and murals.  Beside the church is an old beaterio which is converted into a museum and shop-of- sorts.

For our last day on the island we went spelunking in Cambagat Cave, this cave is located inside the resort.  The water is clear in spite of bat droppings (you could tell from the smell), nothing much to see aside from the rock formations and fresh water springs inside. Hinagdanan Cave was much more interesting if you ask me. 

Our last activity was a two-hour snorkelling inside the marine sanctuary near the resort, no pictures there as my camera is not built to be submerged under water.  That same afternoon, we were on our flight back to Manila.

 (I tried uploading the pictures but the tool won’t work.  I’m considering using/moving to a different host.)

We went home around 9:30 PM, I know, I know, it’s early.  We had good reason to.  The crowd was starting to become really rowdy.  Near the main stage, the mob started tearing down the dividers that separated the general admission ticket holders with the ones that paid more.  We were right smack in the middle of it during Rivermaya’s performance when that happened.  Then the bouncers came in.  We didn’t stay long enough to see neither if the dividers were put back up nor if the mob settled back down.  The band continued to play up until we left the parking lot.  So, I guess everything went through as it should.  We left when the fireworks were going on.   

San Miguel Oktoberfest 2008

Flying from Manila to Tagbilaran, Bohol was a first for me and my wife.  In spite of the weather, we trudged on for our dream honeymoon in one of the most beautiful places the Philippines can offer.  It was a short flight and before we knew it, we were collecting our bags from the conveyor belt and looking for our contact to guide us throughout the island of Bohol. 

Our major stops are to see the Chocolate Hills and to see the smallest primate in the world, the tarsier, or boot /”bo-ot”/ in the local language.  Along the way, we made stopovers in Baclayon Church, the Blood compact site, the Loboc river cruise, a manmade forest of mahogany trees and more recent attractions like the Hanging Bridge, a 24-ft python and the usual gift shops along the highway. 

Baclayon Church is the oldest church in the island and the second oldest church in the Philippines, rivalling San Agustin Church in Intramuros.  Actually, construction in Baclayon Church was started ahead than that in San Agustin but because of attacking pirates that time; San Agustin Church was finished earlier, thus claiming the oldest church title.  For devout Catholics, a visita iglesia during the Holy Week is no problem in Bohol, because almost all municipalities have at least one old church to boast of.  With ninety percent of Boholanos being Catholics, they are sure to benefit from this set-up.

A visit to Bohol would not be complete without seeing a tarsier.  These docile nocturnal animals fit at the palm of one’s hand.  If one is lucky enough, the handlers would even allow you to touch them.  We were lucky enough to do so.  Their hairless feet and hands are cold to touch!  As small as they are, they are very nimble to jump and cling on from one shrubbery to another. 

We had lunch at one of the floating restaurants along the Loboc River, being rainy and all, the river was murky and not its usual blue green we were expecting.  The highlight of the boat ride was the lunch and the small waterfall before the boat heads back to port.  Having lunch on the boat is an experience all its own.  I noticed the lampposts that were installed at the banks of the river and wondered how romantic the place would be at night, with the lampposts lit and with the musician on board the boat singing and playing his guitar.

Moving forward, we reached Chocolate Hills in rainy weather, we took as much pictures as we can.  It was a childhood dream fulfilled for me for I’ve only seen these limestone formations only in pictures. Nonetheless, it was worth the 45 minute drive.  On our way back, we made a short stop inside the manmade forest and took pictures of the bright greenery.  The long straight trunks of the mahogany and canopy it creates make wonderful postcards!

We made our stop at the Blood Compact site last because of the multitude of people that were at the site earlier when we first passed by.  It is the nearest one from the airport.  We bought crafts of pearl necklaces, earrings and bracelets from the street vendors, we learned that these vendors are not native Boholanos and instead are Badjaos from Mindanao. 

By the time we were finished with all of these; it was already 4:30 PM in the afternoon.  We started our journey at 9:00 AM that morning.  We were glad to have made this first day an adventurous one regardless of the afternoon rains.  We decided to stay in one of the hotels in Tagbilaran and move to a resort in Panglao Island the next day.  That’s for another day.

   When I arrived from the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia with less than a month to go before the wedding, me and the (already) wife were up to our necks with the wedding preparations.  It’s like we didn’t know where to start.  In about two days, we finally found footing and found ourselves bustling around Metro Manila (and beyond) for stuff for the wedding.

A week after I’ve returned, we had our prenuptial pictures taken with Erwin of Panorama at La Mesa Ecopark.  It was a fun-filled day.  I really enjoyed the shoot.

A week before the wedding, we were scrambling around trying to tie loose ends.  We were at wits’ end taking note of as much detail that we’ve missed.  There was one day when we slept at three in the morning. 

The day finally arrived and came and we were pretty much satisfied with the overall outcome.  Minor accidents and incidences were overshadowed by the magic and splendour of the occasion.  Three days prior to the day, I told myself that we’ve prepared as best as we can, whatever will happen will happen.  With a few prayers and a bit of luck, we were able to spend the day in grand celebration!  No rain!  The weather was very kind, everyone and everything was dry!

With all that’s happened, with all the preparations, with all the frustrations, I am glad to have made this memory with everyone who partook in the occasion.  I am happy to have spent this day with Rochelle.  I wonder if anyone dared try to wipe that wide smile I plastered on my face that day!

Thanks to the heavy traffic yesterday along EDSA, my wife and I decided to park in Robinson’s Pioneer and have dinner and movie.  I’ve been lobbying to watch The Dark Knight since I arrived two weeks ago but because of the hustle and bustle we have with the wedding preps we were only able to watch it last night.

I had expectations going into the cinema, I’ve read reviews and first hand remarks about the movie…  Overall the movie is very good.  The plot had many twists and very fast paced, special effects are very good, just right and not overly done.  One doesn’t have that feel when one watches a Mission: Impossible movie (Tom Cruise) or a James Bond movie (Pierce Brosnan).  Lighting is done in darker hues as expected from a Batman movie. 

Heath Ledger’s performance was outstanding, the mannerisms, the delivery of his lines, his soliloquiys are sick!  I have not seen as bad as a Joker as Heath Ledger’s.  Too bad he won’t be back for any more Batman movies.

I never liked Christian Bale in his first portrayal, neither do I like him in this one.  It has a lot to do with his voice characterization as Batman.  I still think they overdid that one.  I understand how they wanted to "mask" even his voice as when he is Batman from his alter ego Bruce Wayne, but I really find the timbre/pitch off.  I just don’t like it.  They also need to work more on his ‘playboy millionaire persona’ it just doesn’t cut it. 

Katie Holmes was not in the movie.

The argument of Harvey Dent (Aaron Eckhart) being that epitome of hope for Gotham was good.  Raised to being the next hope for Gotham and later on proves to be corruptible as Joker predicted leading to his demise and guise as Two-Face.  Joker’s ’social experiments’ throws in a few more moral arguments.  Man is basically good.  I think it is that part of the movie that stays with you even after stepping out of the cinema.

Overall, I’d recommend this movie to any Batman fan.  About that bruhaha about the age limit, I think anyone 13 and above can handle the movie.  I just hope anyone who watches the movie will enjoy it as much as I have.  It was my first movie date in a long while.

Here is the movie’s official website:

http://thedarkknight.warnerbros.com/

It was a three hour drive from Pasig, we drove straight from the christening of my nephew, Kyle Sebastian (son of my wife’s sister) straight to Lumban.  Maneuvering carefully along the South Luzon Expressway is proving to be a challenge.

We visited my ninang (godmother, principal sponsor) for my barong tagalog to be worn on the wedding.  I chose an ethnic design for the embroidery, only pinya fabric will be suitable for the groom. I had the cuffs customized so that I’ll be able to use cufflinks instead of the usual buttons.  The first picture is the actual design of the hand-embroidery that I chose.  We also chose the material to be used for my father-in-law, pinya-jusi would be an appropriate choice.

Ninang served an interesting snack of peanuts and fried miki and pancit. The take-home espasol were unusually large compared with what one can normally buy off the streets/buses. 

And who can forget the entertainment that was showcased for us by Jonathan!  Jonathan is ninang’s four year old nephew.  He sang for us Small Voice and Ugoy ng Duyan (Sway of the Crib/Hammock).

DOUBLESPACE.

Me and my wife had a massage today. Very relaxing. 

(I wrote a draft of this entry, I think, three days back.)   

I have been back home for over a week now, been to one job interview, been back to Tagaytay and Batangas for the wedding preps.  I guess one might say I’ve been busy. 

It has been a big relief being back, with the wedding coming in only a couple of weeks’ time, preparations are at their most hectic (and chaotic!), with its usual glitches and jitters.  We’re trying our best to cover as much as specifics as possible, cover more ground and map out what has yet to be done.

The weather has had its toll on my health, with the weather changing from arid to humid; I’ve had tonsillitis and a terrible outbreak on my skin, nothing OTC meds can’t fix.  I’ve ‘acclimatized’ better these past few days, so far.  The jetlag is gone; hunger and sleep is now back to its normal (whatever that is).  My mother-in-law was also hospitalized this week, her strength continually astounds me.

If only I can squeeze in more time for the preparations, everything will be better.

There is nothing more painful than losing a child. Nothing. His birth was a celebration, his death numbing grief.

On the twelfth week of my wife’s pregnancy we learned that Jared had a condition. He developed an omphalocele. Incidence was 1 out of 4,000. Survival rate was very slim. Most of the doctors that saw my wife pretty much gave the same prognosis. We were advised to be prepared because anything might happen. We remained hopeful, and in prayer we asked that Jared be okay.

My wife progressed with the pregnancy. With me a quarter-way world away, she was left alone to fend for herself and our son. Her visits to her doctor, her errands to buy stuff for herself… all this she had to do alone.  She was even driving up to her last week of pregnancy.  When she had the caesarian section 15 March, I didn’t know what to do. I was hungry for updates as to what was going on.  It was very, very difficult. The mere thought that she was in pain still leaves me in awe as how she was able to go through it with me so far away. Hearing after some time that both of them was stable brought temporary relief.  Two hours after he was born the doctors tucked and closed his omphalocele. For a while they said it was okay,  he started experiencing kidney complications shortly after a day while in neonatal intensive care.  A dialysis could’ve helped but they couldn’t dialyse because he was too small, much too frail. 17 March around 10:30 pm (Yanbu time), I received a call from my wife. My firstborn did not make it.

My world was shattered. 

Nothing mattered, all the preparations were for nothing, there was no shielding from the pain.  It was there like hot poison eating away from inside.  All that mattered was I should be back in her arms to comfort her, to mourn with her, to share with her this pain and loss. 

The two days I spent with him came and passed very quickly.  All that time I felt we were cheated, he should’ve lived, we waited for him for so long and for him to be taken away so soon raised a lot of questions in my mind. 

The only chance I got to hold him was before we laid him down to rest. The first and last.

The night of his delivery I had so many things going through my head. Visions, possible future incidences that may happen and what I would do about them. Things like: Nappy changes, warming up bottles at the middle of the night, his firsts!  And if he were older what would I do if he acted out in public? Tantrums!! Dad and son moments we’d be having. What makes this experience painfully unbearable is that none of those visions will ever come true, not with Jared, not with my son. All the dreams and aspirations we had for him won’t even have a chance. He took them with him to his grave to a sudden finality with no recompense. We tried, we hoped and we prayed. We felt that he was taken from us.

The days that followed I offered myself to serve my wife, keenly observing the changes in her, for she has changed.  When she started lactating, it made me angry for a while for my son should’ve been sucking on his mother’s breast, it was for him. It was another chapter of our lives that was denied of us.  We could’ve just waited for the lactation to abate, but my wife decided to take Parlodel, for what exact reasons she took them, I could not dare ask.

If there is any good that this experience has taught me and my wife, it is the knowledge of how much I love her and how much she loves me back. It is in knowing how strong we can be if we really need to, like cats that always land on its feet.

He would’ve been a month and a day old today.

In a few hours’ time I my firstborn, Jared Dominic Lacsamana Arnesto will come into the world.  I am quarter-way around the world away.  The excitement of holding my wife and child will have to be subdued and delayed for three or four months.  Until the time arrives, I can only be… excited.  My wife will have to endure a lot in the coming months, with me so far away; only her family and my family will have to fill in the support that I will not be able to provide.

We go on discussing earlier this week whether I will continue working far away from her for another year. There are so many things to consider now; it’s not just me and my her anymore.  We will be responsible for another life, a life that I will have a direct hand in nurturing, moulding, guiding, coaching, and loving.  I am happy-sad-scared-anxious.  Just too many things to feel at the same time.  Just too far away.

I can only anticipate tomorrow’s coming.  I just hope nothing unexpected happens during the operation.  I hope the doctors can operate immediately on Jared, so that the healing will also be immediate.  I hope my boy is strong like his mother.  I will pray for so many things tonight.

I’d like to share this poem.  Thank God for poetry lessons back in high school.

The Psalm of Life

By Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.

What the heart of the young man said to the psalmist
Tell me not, in mournful numbers,
Life is but an empty dream!–
For the soul is dead that slumbers,
And things are not what they seem.

Life is real! Life is earnest!
And the grave is not its goal;
Dust thou art, to dust returnest,
Was not spoken of the soul.

Not enjoyment, and not sorrow,
Is our destined end or way;
But to act, that each to-morrow
Find us farther than to-day.

Art is long, and Time is fleeting,
And our hearts, though stout and brave,
Still, like muffled drums, are beating
Funeral marches to the grave.

In the world’s broad field of battle,
In the bivouac of Life,
Be not like dumb, driven cattle!
Be a hero in the strife!

Trust no future, howe’er pleasant!
Let the dead Past bury its dead!
Act,–act in the living present!
Heart within, and God o’erhead!

Lives of great men all remind us
We can make our lives sublime,
And departing, leave behind us
Footprints on the sands of time;

Footprints, that perhaps another,
Sailing o’er life’s solemn main,
A forlorn and shipwrecked brother,
Seeing, shall take heart again.

Let us, then, be up and doing,
With a heart for any fate;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
Learn to labor and to wait.

It rained today.

The day started really gloomy.  On a clear day one could see the silhouette of the mountains in the east and north.  I didn’t see them this morning.  There was practically no wind the whole day either.  We even joked about clearing out our clothesline because anytime the rain would fall.  This afternoon we actually did!
I am one of those people who (if I were not inconvenienced) would be happy when it rains. 

The rain invokes so many happy childhood memories.  I have many fond memories of playing in the rain with my brothers and my neighbours.  Playing anything we could think of under the heavy monsoons.  I remember running around in what-used-to-be rice fields playing tag in ankle-deep water.  Many times we would catch tadpoles and put them in jars until they outgrew their tails.  There were times when I would go out and find clusters and clusters of snails’ eggs and I would try to pick one cluster out without breaking one pink egg, I would find it challenging.  I have memories when we’d prepare champorado in the afternoon for our snack, how my mother would swirl that can of evaporated milk before serving it to me…  In my early teens, there were times when grown-ups would play volleyball with us in the rain; I also remember how bad a wet ball hurts on your arms when you volley.  It reminds me of a time when things were simple but happy, when you could not care about the world and just be your little young self.   

I also especially like the feeling after a rainfall, when the air is not humid.  The way foliage looks bright green because the rain cleansed them of deposited filth; the way blades of grass sway when it’s wet.  When everything feels and smells fresh because that’s what water does, it cleanses.

Seeing rain after five months is one sure way to break the monotonous routine one is trying to get used to.  It is one sure way to go back in time and reminisce one’s lost childhood.